Tyler's House of Horrors : February 2013

Monday, February 25, 2013

Attic Mess

So after getting hit in the head with piles of crap when I was ripping down the kitchen ceiling I decided that I had put off cleaning the attic out long enough. I had thought I could knock out the attic in an hour or two but I clearly misjudged the amount of crap in the attic. At one point I had to stop working and go get some garbage bags because someone decided that they would put thirteen 33 gallon bags worth of lose clothes, stuffed animals and other random crap just on the floor instead of in some sort of container. Genius

Piles of crap

So I decided that the best way to dispose of the stuff in the attic was to drag it out of the attic and then throw it down the stairs. This worked alright until I had to get down the stairs imagine that.

More piles of crap

I swear if I have to throw one more fucking mattress down a flight of stairs I am going to lose it.

Top 3 Random Attic Items

So the motorcycle parts I found weren't weird by themselves but the fact that I found them on top of a pile of Cosmo and Vogue magazines was kind of random.

Creepy Ass Picture

So I found a picture of the Norwood-Norfolk cheerleaders in formation. At first glance this picture looked pretty normal but when I looked again I saw that one of the girls had her face scratched off. This instantly weirded me out and made me think of the start of every "person moving into new house" horror film. They always look in the attic and find something creepy and then end up getting butchered. Just in case the photo was curse like The Ring or something I didn't take a picture. I wouldn't want everyone to end up meeting a faceless cheerleader just because they read this.

Unicorns!!!

So my favorite item(s) I found in the attic was definitely the four black velvet unicorn paintings. Now that I have them I can't imagine my life without a giant painting of a unicorn is space. Honorable mentions of crap found in the attic: a squirrel change bank, a Christmas tree and a notebook featuring old high school love letters (only read a couple I swear)

Dumpster #3

It really amazes me how much crap I have pulled out of this house. The next dumpster should be the last one until I start working on the exterior.

All finished

So after spending five hours throwing out the most random shit I can say the show Hoarders now hits very close to home for me. I thought this was all the "garbage" that needed to be removed from the house until my father pointed out that I haven't touched the basement yet.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Demo Mission Success

Well I wanted to get some noticeable work done downstairs with my days off and I think I accomplished that goal. My father demoed all the kitchen walls down to the studs and I ripped down most of the kitchen ceiling. I finished ripping out the rest of the tongue and groove in living room and downstairs bedroom and managed to finish the floor in the bathroom, living room and bedroom. Basically all we need to do downstairs now for demo is the laundry room and a bunch of little things like pulling nails out of the studs and just cleaning crap up. Lastly I found out that there is a funeral home less than half a mile from the house so if I do die in this little gem someone can just drop me off on the way to the wing joint down the road. Pretty convenient I think.

Kitchen Ceiling

My father had ripped down about 1/4 of the kitchen ceiling on Wednesday and ripping up the floor on Thursday went so well that I thought I could knock the ceiling out real quick. Clearly I am an idiot.

Surprise #1

I had known that there was a fire in the kitchen at one point and many of the boards that I pulled down from the ceiling were charred.

Surprise #2

So as I continued to rip down the ceiling I had a pile of random shit fall at my head. These were the most interesting items that nearly brained me while I was working. From left to right; Two medical whiskey bottles, shards of glass and a shoe. Honorable mention goes to a pile of Christmas cards addressed to James (I checked James took the money out of the cards. What a little puke)

Attic

So I was wondering why Christmas Cards and shoes were falling out of the ceiling until I saw that there was a hole in the attic floor. So all that random shit in the attic could fall down on me at anytime. Basically I think the kitchen saw how easy I had it yesterday so it called in reinforcements.

I managed to clean up all the boards and sheetrock from the ceiling but I didn't want to deal with the piles of blown insulation so I will sweep it up next time I stop over.

I had my fill with the kitchen for the day so I pulled down the ceiling but didn't knock out all of the insulation. You win this round kitchen.

Poor Shed/Urinal

On Wednesday we had 51 mph wind gusts and apparently my shed was not designed for that kind of abuse. Now when I go in the shed to pee I have to make sure my neighbor isn't watching.

Bedroom Tile

So the tile that I took out from the bathroom and living room extended into what will be the third bedroom and hallway. It was a pain in the ass to take out the tile in the rest of the house so I thought I was in for a long day.

Masonite

No it isn't a Pokemon it is a cardboard like substance that they put between the plywood and the sub floor.

It goes a lot easier when the tiles come off in one giant sheet

Sucess

In less then one Mumford and Sons album I managed to rip up all the flooring in the downstairs bedroom. At this point I was feeling pretty good about my progress and also worried that it wasn't going to be this easy in the hallway

Hallway Sub Floor

Everything was running pretty smooth until I hit the hallway. Instead of having masonite under the tiles like the bedroom the hallway had newspaper, weird striped fabric and some tar paper with some groovy designs on it. Unfortunately all this junk came off in small pieces making it a bitch to clean.